Wednesday, September 27, 2017

Four years.

September 27th, 2013 at 5:42pm. A pivotal day of my years - one that every detail is ingrained into my brain. The day that split our lives into two, before and after. It feels almost like living a double life, before Wyatt died and after Wyatt died. It's a hard feeling to explain, but we are most certainly not the same now, after, as we once were before.

We continue to celebrate his birthday each year, in some way special to the four of us and that what we would believe to be special for him, as well. We celebrate his life on this day too - the day his soul was freed from his broken body. It was a long journey for our dear boy.

Four years. Just four years. It feels like a lifetime since I've held my boy in my arms, his hand in mine, or heard his sweet voice. That voice wouldn't sound quite the same as I know it, I don't believe. As he would be 15 years old this year. It's so hard to imagine - I can't, truthfully.

I wonder if he ever got that mohawk in Heaven. Or how many times he and Jesus rode in the front seat of that Rollercoaster he was waiting for.

Yesterday, as we watched Maggie "excel between the pipes", as one news article put it, while wearing her green and purple gear in honor of Wyatt, I thought of him and her. Their relationship was special, best friends from the time they were both just babies. I know she wishes he could have seen her play field hockey. And Jilly - Wyatt was her protector and, yet, the first one to call her out if she did wrong. Her big brother was perfect in her eyes and could do no wrong. She hasn't moved off the couch much this week as she's been feeling pretty crummy, but we watched her walk onto the field hockey field and practice with her friends last night. She gets up and keeps playing, because living life is worth it. While her body is not always thrilled, she keeps pushing through. Wyatt would be so proud of his sisters. I have no doubt he would be their biggest fan on the sidelines!

Those three, my loves. I miss hearing them laugh together. You know, as they say, three's a crowd? Well, I miss my crowd.

Again, this year, I wasn't sure I was going to sit down and write today. It's harder for me now. The words are all in my head and could pour from my heart. They are there, but they don't quite flow out of me like they used to. Things have changed, we live a different life. I've changed. But my love has not. He will always be my very favorite superhero, my very favorite boy. We miss him and we love him - always do and always will.

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  1. <3 Prayers to all of you. He was a sweet boy with a great smile! Traci Zary

  2. Beautiful! Happy, happy birthday to your sweet son!

  3. I continue to keep you, your children, and your whole family in my prayers and heart. I think of you all often, and will never stop praying that God and all his Angels stay with you all and watch over you. I do plan on wearing my SuperWy T-Shirt to work one of these Fridays to work as my dress down day. Light, love, hugs, and prayers to you all.