Sunday, February 23, 2014

Standing in the rain.

There's snow on the ground as the sky begins to grow dark. The clouds roll in. The branches of trees begin to sway as the wind's speed picks up. You can hear its force from inside as it blows against the windows. It begins as a slow drizzle. A rain drop here, a rain drop there. The sound is audible as the drops hit the ground. Then it's as if the sky opens up allowing the rain to come pouring down. Quickly it washes over everything in its path. As the rain pelts the snow it causes it to melt, creating more water to wash away the cold.

Sooner or later, spring will be coming. It's only a matter of time.

I've watched a small storm like this show up just outside my home late last week. It's interesting really. As I watched the changes taking place in the weather I couldn't help but relate to it in a much deeper sense. Grieving feels much like this. It actually works so similarly...at least in my head, it does. Sometimes there are snow showers, sometimes rain showers or even loud thunderstorms that shake the foundation on which we stand.

The snow on the ground is much like the chilly feeling of loss. There are moments the sun may be shining, but the chill, the emptiness, is ever present. The clouds of loss are saturated with feeling. Sometimes they roll in slowly, other times very quickly without warning. They may settle in and darken the day(s). The winds blow, leaving the feeling as if you are pushed and pulled, gently or even ferociously. The rain begins to seep from your soul, maybe slow or maybe steadily. Maybe just before losing all sense of control as a storm of pain begins to pour down. You cry out. You cry from deep within your soul. You may get angry, releasing a crack of thunder that shakes you from the core. The torrential tears help to ease the pain of the cold snow over time. Some days, eventually, the rain drops slow and the clouds may gently roll away...but not too far in the distance. They are always visible and their path unpredictable. The chill is still there, it may never go away. But you can begin to see and feel the warmth of the sun starting to peek from the break in the cloud covered sky. It may not be as bright or warm as it once was. Maybe it will never be. But the promise is still there. 

There are days when the sun may warm our soul. There are days that we experience a steady rain. And there are the days that a large storm blows us right off our feet. Interestingly enough, there is sun, rain and storms throughout the entire year. Each being a little different depending on what season we're in at the time. But yet similar, none the less. I'm feeling like it could be very much the same in these seasons of our lives.

Even though snow still covers our ground. I believe spring is coming...for the world, my family, myself. It may not be on the same time table, but I know spring will come eventually. 
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