Thursday, January 9, 2014

With him, for him, because of him.

When the time came Wyatt had big plans for when he got to Heaven. He looked forward to being free of all his tubes, IV lines and attachments. As well as all the pain and fear and worries. We did a lot of preparing and tried to help him focus on these things as he grew closer to the time. When asked of the first thing he wanted to do when he woke up in Heaven, Wyatt replied with a hopeful smile, "Run." He was looking forward to being able to run again. 

After my dear boy died I actually began to run again too. I used to run miles in the past, prior to having children. That was quite awhile ago...in fact, I could even say a whole different body ago! But it's never too late to start again. Right? I'm working on it. And this time, I'd like to think I'm running with my favorite boy. While he may not be physically beside me, I hope he's been running in Heaven since the moment he arrived.

I'm running with him. And for him...for all the years he tried to keep up with his sisters and friends. For all the pain that running used to cause him. For all the tubes, lines and backpacks full of his only source of nutrition that limited him. For all the weakened muscles and painful nerves that he struggled to make work together for as long as possible. For all the years he couldn't run, but wanted to so badly. For all the years his broken body failed him.

I can imagine that boy of mine smiling, probably even laughing at me, and cheering me on simultaneously. That kid rarely turned down a challenge. He enjoyed proving himself and his strength. And I enjoyed watching him! I could often use that competitive nature to my advantage the last few years, when getting him to move his body, stretch, sit up or sometimes to even just open his eyes. It came in handy. 

After Wyatt died I wasn't sure we'd ever go back to Disney World. I even went as far to say that we would not. That was his place, his love. We have so many memories there together, I couldn't imagine going without him. Seeing all his favorite places, the rides that he loved the most and the rides that he loved to talk about but couldn't ride. Maybe you already know, but along with being 'the happiest place on earth' and full of magic, Disney World also hosts several races through the course of the year...shorter distances on up to Marathon lengths through the parks.

We are going back.

I've never ran a "race" beyond a quick stint running track in high school. And I have quite a ways to go before I will feel prepared. But this May, the four of us are going back to Disney World, for him. We're now registered for our first RunDisney race in honor of our super boy.

We'll be running with him, but also for him. 


To take chances, be brave, follow your heart, believe you can and do it...anything is possible. These are all things my son has taught me. 

With you and for you...because of you, Wyatt.
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