Thursday, December 26, 2013

His first Christmas in Heaven.

The day came and finally did go. Our Christmas was not easy. In fact, it was the exact opposite. The reminder that one of our family of five was not physically with us was everywhere we looked and within everything we did. I've put my feelings into words in this space many times. But it fails to portray the depth of those emotions. There are no words to give insight to that part of losing a child.

Christmas Eve night Jilly was restless. She decided she wanted to sleep with Big Bear. The bear that would travel to the hospital with Wyatt, went through many surgeries beside him, was used as a pillow or helped support his body in various positions. He was the bear who Wy slept with every day and night.

She was awake several times through the night, wondering what time it was. At 6am she came to our bedroom, nearly in tears. Unable to put into words exactly what she was feeling. She was excited, but crying. She climbed into our bed for while. At 7:30am we all got up for the morning. Jilly was crying again.

I knew why. 

We walked down the stairs, there were no squeals of delight or excitement, as would be heard by many families on Christmas day. Standing in front of all the wrapped presents under the tree, Jilly let out a somberly quiet, "wow." There were few smiles as the girls opened their presents this year, but they did like everything. Jilly then took a pillow, grabbed hold of big bear and laid down in the middle of all the torn wrapping paper and new gifts. She covered herself with a blanket and hugged big bear tightly, declaring this "the worst Christmas ever." She misses her Brother "too much," as she put it. We all do.

She watched a movie that Santa had left in her stocking, curled on the floor and holding his Bear. As the movie ended, we decided to go visit Wyatt at the cemetery. We needed to be 'with him', even if for only a short time. Big Bear tagged along with us, as Jilly is sure he misses him too. Santa had left a few things under our Christmas tree for Wy. Including two Superman ornaments, one for our home and one to take 'to' him.

There were more tears than smiles at times, but I knew coming into Christmas that it would be draining.

Wyatt's first Christmas in Heaven: I would love to know how he spent the day...
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1 comment:

  1. As hard as the day was for your family, my wishes of peace are sent to you. Also through the new year I hope that peace finds you and brings comfort for healing. Wyatt will never be forgotten.