Tuesday, November 19, 2013

A big step.

Maggie has been struggling with still using our wheelchair accessible mini-van after Wyatt died. While it served its purpose of being an easily accessible vehicle well, it feels very empty now.

That dark blue mini-van with its rattly side ramp has traveled with us many, many miles. To Disney World, Mount Rushmore, Yellowstone National park, Washington DC and every state and city in between those destinations. We all benefited from the accessibility that it gave us as a family. But we don't need what it was specially built for anymore.

I was hesitant to look for a new vehicle as we bought the van for Wyatt, to enjoy and live life more freely. Making our life much easier. It was, in essence, another piece of him. But, for Maggie, I decided to start looking for something else. She voiced her opinion of wanting an SUV. They are apparently much "cooler" than a Mini-van.

So, in theory if I drive an SUV that would mean I'm now "cool", right? 

I know what the 12 year-old's response will be to that question without even asking. ;) Yesterday I drove home in a shiny, new Honda Pilot. The girls were excited and enjoyed playing with all the buttons and new gadgets. I think Wyatt would have liked it too. We do still have our van. We will be getting it cleaned and detailed. And hope to find a family who could benefit from it a little while longer.

There seems to be many steps in adjusting, accepting and/or finding a "new normal" with grief. I feel like we could be standing near the bottom of a long staircase of hard concrete steps. Some uneven, some shaky and some cracked. But we're taking steps. This step was a little bigger than some of the others, not to mention more expensive! But the girls were smiling, excited and happy. Maggie's even looking forward to going somewhere now.

It was a big step, but a good step. 
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2 comments:

  1. You know you have me rooting for you and your family with every step! And you also know that I swear by Honda. They look good, but are also extremely safe and hold their value better than any other vehicle brand. Love and hugs always!

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  2. That must be a big step. I can only imagine. The new Honda looks nice outside your house! Sad not to see the van tho.

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