Saturday, June 23, 2012

How do we prepare to say goodbye?

My head understands, though my heart doesn't want to believe it. That's where I'm at, at the moment.

We've decided, in light of the circumstances, tomorrow we will celebrate Wyatt's 10th birthday early. He knows about the party and is looking forward to it. He is not aware that the timing is earlier than his actual birthday.

His neurological status is changing, he's begun to hallucinate multiple times a day and is agitated and frightened during the episodes. We're out of "tricks" and we have done, or are doing, all that can be done for our sweet boy. It could be days, it could be weeks. How do we prepare to say goodbye to our little boy? I don't know how to do this.

He's my boy who loves comfy pillows and stuffed friends. My boy who likes to watch the Ellen show and has often danced along at home as she dances through the crowd. My boy who can keep a sense of humor through everything and has never once asked "why me?" Who loves a good pillow fight, watching movies together and the smell of food. My boy who learned he loves to play baseball and being part of a team. Who loves Disney World and to watch and listen to people scream as loud as they can on fast rides. My boy who enjoys watching The Amazing Race, Wipeout, Fear Factor and America's Got Talent. Who when asked for his one wish, wished to go "camping" in an RV and to see the country. My boy who looks forward to being married and loves a good movie with a happy ending. Who prays each night, for his friends. My boy who says "Good Night, Mommy. I love you. See you in the morning." over and over and over again because he doesn't remember he already said it at least 4 times. My boy who is mighty and awesome. He's my sweet, sweet boy. 

It feels surreal.

We feel your prayers, the thoughts and support. Thank you.
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  1. We brought our sweet girl home on hospice before she passed away in our bed. It is all surreal. I wish mito was non-existent. I am so sorry that it has progressed so much in your handsome young son. ((hugs))

  2. Very well said, wish I had a chance to meet Wyatt...glad I have met you...praying for you multiple times a has to be surreal and can't imagine having to go through this with Hannah but know that one day we will...he is blessed to have you for a mom and his loving family....praying for peace and comfort for all of you..big hugs
    joan & Hannah Grace

  3. I can't imagine anyone would know how to say goodbye. I think it sounds wonderful that you are going to have a birthday party and I hope the entire family is able to enjoy it a bit. As always, praying hard.

  4. My heart is breaking for your family. Thank you for your courage in sharing Wyatt's journey with all of us. Sending prayers.

  5. The people who influence us the most are not those who detain us with their continual talk, but those who live their lives like the stars in the sky and the lilies of the field—simply and unaffectedly. Those are the lives that mold and shape us.

    {Oswald Chambers}


    Oh, Wyatt...

    And all of you.

    You stay and stay and stay on my heart,

    Cathy in Missouri

  6. Of course there are no words to comfort you right now. Just know we are all with you in thought and spirit. Enjoy the party with your handsome young man.

  7. No words, just tears reading this, love and prayers Ash.

  8. Praying for you all as you face the impossible .... God will carry you! May His peace surround your family in the days ahead! Praying you are blessed extra special moments with wyatt!

  9. Praying for you and sweet Wyatt and all of your family. I know we haven't spoken in ages, but I remember when your precious little man was born and all I can say is that I'm praying for you all.

  10. Ashley, I remember Wyatt from our days on the October babies board on AOL. I'm so sorry that he has to go through this, and your family as well. I had high hopes that he was doing ok through the years. You all have my prayers.
    ~Debbie (mom to Elyssa from that board)

  11. My thoughts are with Wyatt and your family. I remember when he was born. He seems to be such a strong, wonderful little boy. I am so sorry.

    Joy (Oct mommy)