Friday, April 8, 2011

Among the crazy.

I spoke with the representative of the YMCA yesterday morning.


He was pleasant, relaying that he spoke with the man. Did not tell me what his reaction was or what was said. However, the Associate Executive Director would like to meet with Bryan and I along with this man, "to talk things through." He expressed that it was completely up to us and he would understand if we would rather not meet. But he would like to. I responded by saying that I would talk with my husband and get to back to him with our decision.

We're still thinking about it. Though, prior to any meeting we will be expecting the YMCA to relay to us how exactly they plan to hold the man accountable for his words and actions. Along with asking what outcome they expect to come from this meeting.

A forced apology in a closed off meeting will not make what he said any more acceptable. Though, a public apology acknowledging his wrong doings in front of the entire Tae Kwon Do class that witnessed his acts, with our family and friends that want to be present, may be something that is more appropriate. An apology that can be used to teach the others of this class and show them that what he did was not OK. Including a detailed explanation as to why his words and actions were out of line. I think the children need to be aware that their "teacher" (I'm using that term loosely) was wrong. Making clear that the words he used were not kind and what they witnessed was not acceptable.

My initial emotional response after thinking about a meeting is that I would rather not see this guy and I certainly don't want to hear a word he has to say. During our multiple discussions during the class, I was unable to hold back the tears from streaming down my face as I looked at each of my children. I tried hard to stifle the emerging emotions. I was so frustrated, sad and feeling broken. Not only by this mans words, but by the situation as a whole. My son has a degenerative, progressive disease that has and will continue to take his chances of a typical childhood away. There is no cure, no treatment options. To know that we have no control over what happens within our boys body is indescribable, powerless, crippling. I know a few of you reading understand these feelings, and some to a much greater degree than I at this time. Quality of life is important to us...I want to see his smiles, I want to hear his laughs, I want to see him enjoying his days as much as possible. Watching this situation play out before me and realizing my words were not going to change this mans thinking,  knowing that Wyatt was being denied the chance to do something that he was so excited about, while his sister stands witnessing this unfair treatment was overwhelming. Which caused a wave of emotions to flood my heart. Hearing this man talk and the words he used, I have a feeling that seeing my tears and vulnerability made him feel strong and falsely in control.

My more rational side (yes, I do have one) is thinking a meeting would allow us the opportunity to voice our opinions and thoughts on the subject. Let him know, face to face, how we really feel about his words and actions. Inform him of his ignorance that was so boldly shining through and let him know that we received the message loud and clear....however, we're the ones in control. There is a lot I would like to tell this man. Though, we need to be aware of what exactly the YMCA is doing to hold him accountable for violating their mission and standards, for violating our sons right to participate regardless of his medical condition, before we go into a personal meeting. It's in their hands, their control, now too. If they're not willing to hold him responsible for his actions, then we need to be prepared. I'm not interested in arguing or just "talking things through", as the YMCA representative had put it. It doesn't change the fact that what he did was wrong. His words now won't change the words that he spoke at the time. No take backs, buddy.

Among the crazy that is this situation, the week has continued on like any other. A new PICC line for Wyatt, the first piano lesson for Maggie, an email which contained telling lab results from our last trip to Atlanta to see Dr. S, an email sent to the boy's doctor alerting him to signs we're seeing and need to be addressed, constructing a Solar system and another afternoon field trip to school. All in amongst "Our normal."

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  1. I have followed your post for some time but have never left a message. My heart breaks for you and your family - this kind of ignorance and cruelty needs to be eliminated. I work with special needs kids and I see the looks and hear the whispers from people and I am become enraged I cannot imagine what it feels like to be a mom and hear this. I hope the "Y" does the right thing in this situation

  2. I still can't even believe that happened. It'a crazy to think that people are so ignorant. If they only knew what our families go through on a daily basis.

    Love that you're fighting for you babies! Keep up the great work -- we all have to bring on the craziness some time!!!!